Friday, February 15, 2008

No comments

Could be my last post. Man, are girls fussy.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Chong Hui's Birthday

RYesterday damn fun sia. Chong Hui's birthday ma. Dorothy ask me wan go buy his pressie at J8. Lazy walk there sia. Nvm skip this part.

Messaging conversation:

Me: Btw, wad you buy for Chong Hui?
Dorothy: Girlfriend
Me: Wad gf?
Dorothy: Gf la.
Me: Who?
Dorothy: When you come you will know.
Me: Girlfriend need money wan meh?
Dorothy: Hey you wan split costs?
Me: You buy a girlfriend for Chong Hui from a human smuggler ah? Izzn't it illegal?
Dorothy: You wan split costs anot?
Me: You answer my question 1st.
Dorothy: You answer mine first.
Me: I asked first.
Dorothy: I asked early early whether you wan split cost anot you dowan answer me.
Me: You asked early but i asked first.
Dorothy: A soft toy la -.-
Me: *Thought: Why do girls like to buy soft toy for guys everytime?* Then you say la. How much?
Dorothy: If you wan then is $8.30.
Me: You siao ah? You bought something worth $33.20?
Dorothy: $50.
Me: You are really really really really (After alot of really) siao.
Dorothy: Ppl birthday come once in a year lehz.
Me: I rather bake a cake sia.
Dorothy: Really ah?
Me: Ya...
Dorothy: Make me a cake too.
Me: Sure, but i dunno if its edible anot?
Dorothy: Yea. I was just doubting its edibility.

Evil sia, Dorothy.

And so i did. With some help and advice from my Mum, I baked an apple cake xD
Went AMKhub awhile. Blablabla. Suddenly receive call from Dorothy to faster come bcoz Chong Hui gonna leave liao. Kennasai. I ran all the way there sia. Zzz...

Reach le. Dorothy, Clara, Chong Hui and Andy there liao. Ate the cake, i didnt eat. Andy say not bad. Chong Hui no comments. Clara like the crumbs. Dorothy say veh nice.

Mini quarrel. Clara snatched Chong Hui's phone dowan return. Chong Hui wan it back, try snatch it. Clara not happy. Go put it in her BRA. Walao obsecene sia. Then Dorothy go join in the fun. Suggested go in girl's toilet so Chong Hui wont go in. Poor Chong Hui had to camp outside the toilet wait for them come out. Evil people... Ah... I be nice go help him ba.

Went into the girl's toilet with Chong Hui... Climbed over the wall... Peered at what the girl's were doing... Then Clara saw me and she SCREAMED!! Walao sounds like a banshee sia. Dorothy like no reaction like that. Eeyer... No fun de. Then they both run out and Chong Hui got his phone back.

Ate cake again. Clara eating the crumbs half way and suddenly... it dropped in her BRA AGAIN!!! Damn obscene sia. Zzz... Then some guy came and took a piece of MY cake which i was eating and threw it at Chong Hui. Zzz... I dun think anything else happened liao. We went home lor. Clara go home by car. Dorothy, Andy, Chong Hui, Germaine and me walked to AMK Hub.

Heh. Rainy weather. Ideal for EMOkids like me sia. Obviously im transparent la. Nobody noticed me. Im EMOing :) Reach liao. Parted ways. Dorothy and I take same bus home, 261. Chatted blablabla... Got off... Seriously didnt know Dorothy live so close me la.

Went to meet my parents. Went to someone nearby to eat ba chor mee. Go Sheng Shiong buy CNY stuff blablabla... Went home and slept.

Zzz... Zzz... Zzz...

Thursday, January 31, 2008

How Greedy Am I?

Yes, I do admit I am greedy but not to a unhealthy extent that is.

How Stupid Am I?

Your Score Summary
Overall, you scored as follows:
61% scored higher (more stupid),4% scored the same, and 35% scored lower (less stupid).
You are 35% stupid. This means...You are kinda' smart. Many have done better, but you did much better than half the other test-takers! Good for you.
Note: I did not cheat. This is my first time.


Who Said Im Not Sexy?

Who said Im not sexy? I am okay? And I can prove it!

Who Said I Was Evil?

Who said i was evil? Im not evil okay? Im twisted xD


Wednesday, January 30, 2008

This Is The Way To Flunk Your Test #2

Chinese test confirm flunk liaoz. Section A and B i see until i blur diao. Cannot tarhan liao. I anyhow do lorz. Must rely on my comprehensions le la SIAN. At most can get 20+ marks from it. Plus a few more marks in front=pass! Yay! But my mum won't be so happy though... Haiz...

Geography test. Either on Friday or Monday. Confirm flunk. Why? Dun tell you. You go ask 3/4 yourself. Haiz... Flunk liao la... Zzz...

Target Setting

Here is my Target-For-The-Term.

English: Test 1-c6, Test 2-B4
E/A Maths: Test 1-B4, Test 2-A2
Chinese: Test 1-C5, Test 2-B3
Pure Biology: Test 1-B3, Test 2-A2
Combined Sciences (Physics/Chemistry): Test 1-B4/Test 1-B4
Geography: Test 1-B4, Test 2-A2
Social Studies: Test 1-B4, Test 2-B3

Reasons

1. Juz started learning.
2. No confidence yet.
3. Its based on experience.

No further comments bcoz im laming so buaiix.

PLEASE DONT READ THIS!

In 1997, a girl called Lauren was walking in a forest and then, she just disappeared. No one ever found her until 2000 when a young girl called Mary found her body and markings on her chest saying: "I wasnt pretty enough" and now you have read this she will appear in your mirror saying your not pretty enough and kill you. By the way, the girl called Mary died shortly after.

PLEASE DONT READ THIS,
U WILL GET KISSED BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ON SATURDAY,
TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF UR LIFE
BUT YOU HAVE TO POST THIS,
IF U DUN POST THIS IN YOUR BLOG
U WILL DIE IN TWO HOURS,
BUT IF U REPOST THIS TO YOUR BLOG
U WILL TRULY BE THE BEST DAY OF UR LIFE,
WHEN UR DONE,
PUSH F6 ON UR KEYBOARD
AND THE LOVE OF UR LIFE WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS
ITS SCARY BUT IT WORKS

Another Day In School

LOL. Yao Kuang today very pissed off. Why? I tell you why. He angry that Miss Deepa keep kicking his bag. Then finally she kick liao and nearly tripped. She then go and scold Yao Kuang for putting his bag there (where he usually does and the other teachers have no problem with his bag) and say its his fault.

I say something. Mrs Kok. YOU WIN LIAO LOR! Seriously walao. I raise my hand to ask her come bcoz i nid help and then she come liao hor go talk to Brenda. Then i start talking to her and she walked away. Then awhile later she turned back and asked me if i called her and went to beat around the bush about calling people's name to get their attention. PLEASE! Im not a retard. I understand what your drving at... But you dun have to call me to answer 12(f) for not calling you properly right???

Had VE lesson at ITRL2 today. Talked about the flying kite theory:

Higher number of tries=(estimated)=Higher rate of success

Then had sock checks. Register 3, 11 and 18 kenna i think. Oh... And Mrs Kok was not happy with our shoes performance bcoz she said we became infamous and notorious for holding the highest record for people with unacceptable shoes. Awww... Sowwies :)

Funny part is when Nicholas made Chong Hui sit on a chair that was rocking so badly and after awhile, along with much fidgeting, the chair gave way and broke apart and poor Chong Hui splattered onto the floor. Lol.

I figured out 2 things after 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. One,

Yao Kuang + Jun Ming = Yao Ming

Two, I cant help but laugh at Wei Yi's hair (no offence) bcoz her hair looks like a horse tail. I mean seriously speaking, it is exactly like a horse tail. I seen a horse b4 okay? Yes on TV and real life one too. Haiz...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Different Ways Of EMO

Please help on this topic. If you know other ways, please comment in the box below. Thank you.

1. Listen to EMO songs e.g. What Hurts The Most, Apologise
2. Cut wrists
3. Stare into the sky, watch clouds float by
4. Sit alone in one corner
5. Lots of emotions
6. Write the words "EMO" 1000 times.
7. Speak EMO language (Every sentence must contain the word "EMO")
8. Act in EMO drama, show, movie, etc
9. Go goth (donated by Dorothy)

Will be updated.


Monday, January 28, 2008

This Is The Way To Flunk Your Test

Okay I confirm flunk my Biology and Chemistry tests de! Why? I tell you why! Biology. Section A-MCQ i predict 2 questions wrong liao. And i never remember the function for the parts of the cell too. Like erm... mitochondria, Golgi apparatus, etc. Chemistry. I dun really know how to answer most of the questions like wahat is the boiling chips for, what is the aim of this experiment and many more sia. Flunk liao la... Flunking is fun :) This is the way to flunk your test, flunk your test, flunk your test... Previous has been deleted.

The Internet Is For Porn

The Internet is really really great... FOR PORN!
I gotta fast connection so i dun have to wait... FOR PORN!
There's always some new sites... FOR PORN!
I browse all day and night... FOR PORN!
Its like im surfing at the speed of light... FOR PORN!

Treky!... The Internet is for porn... Treky!
The Internet is for porn... wad are you doing?
Why do you think the net was born?
Porn, porn, porn.

Treky.
Oh hello Kate monster.
You are ruining my song.
Oh me sorry, me no mean to.
Well, if you wouldn't mind, please be quiet for a minute so i can finish my song?
Oakey doakey.
GOOD.

Im glad we have this new technology... FOR PORN!
Which gives us untold opportunities... FOR PORN! Opps sorry.
From your own desktop... For...
You can research, browse and shop... mmm...
Until you had enough and you are ready to start... FOR PORN!

Treky!... The Internet is for porn... Helloooo...
The Internet is for porn... Treky!...
We all be hugging me for porn, porn porn...

That's gross... You're a pervert.
Awww... Make sense too Kate monster.
No really... You're a pervert. Normal people dun sit at home and watch porn on the Internet.
Noooo?
What...
You have no idea! Ready normal people?
Ready, ready, ready!
Let me hear it!

The Internet is for porn... Sorry Kate... Huh?
The Internet is for porn... I masturbate...
All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn... The Internet is not for porn!
Porn, porn... Hold on a second... Wow?
For i happen to know for in fact that you, Ron, check your portfoilio and trade stocks online... Thats correct.
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com... Sure.
And Gary, you keep selling your posessions on EBay... Yes I do.
And you, Quinceston, you sent me that sweet online birthday card... True.
Oh, but Kate, what do you think he would do after? Hmmm?
Hahaha... Yeah.
Euuuuuu.....

The Internet is for porn... Gross.
The Internet is for porn... I hate porn.
Grab you dick and double click for porn, porn, porn... I hate men.
Porn...Porn... Im leaving...Porn... I hate the Internet... Porn... Porn...
The Internet is for, the Internet is for, the Internet is for Porn! Yaaa...

New Year Resolutions

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!

FOR ANGELS

1. I resolve to start studying for O-Levels examinations tomorrow. No wait. I think i'll start now.

2. I resolve to upgrade myself from teacher's pet to principal's pet

3. I resolve to increase my monthly savings ratio by 72.66% so i can start ny self-drawn retirement plan 147 days earlier (Inflatation has been adjusted for.)

4. I resolve to be elected head prefect/student counsellor and to do a wonderful job that they will beg me not to graduate.

5. I resolve to be such a perfect student this year so i won't need to make anymore resolutions next year.

FOR DEVILS

1. I resolve to be more friendly towards people from other classes especially that hot chick in the super-short skirt in the class next door F3

2. I resolve to start studying for my O-Levels examinations and still fail them :D

3. I resolve to break any single rule I can think of... Twice xD

4. I resolve to lose the 2kg I gained over the holidays by actually showing up for the PE classes i missed this term.

5. I resolve to start taking my homework to school everyday. Actually doing it will be for my next year's resolution haha lol.

FOR ME

1. I resolve to dump Yao Kuang and woo Daryl.

2. I resolve to make Zeng Jie's life horrible if she doesn't stop disturbing me and Daryl.

3. I resolve to be dedicated to my new CCA: IT.

4. I reslove to get at least 4 As for my mid-year examinations.

5. I resolve to grow to at least 1.85m by the end of this year.

6. I resolve to become 60kg or less throughout the year.

7. I resolve to maintain at least a B3 for my Maths.

8. I resolve to help Daryl in his problems.

9. I resolve to be more sociable this year.

10. I resolve to get married this year.

11. I resolve to get more people to join IT.

12. I resolve to at least hold my Cao Cao Bow (Level 54) before i quit MapleStory.

13. I resolve to blog blog and blog :)

14. I resolve to change my blogskin with the help of Dorothy.

15. I resolve to end this post after this sentence.

[=.="]

What I Have To Say About Maths

I HATE MATHS! MATHS SUCKS!!
I HATE MATHS! MATHS SUCKS!!
I HATE MATHS! MATHS SUCKS!!
I HATE MATHS! MATHS SUCKS!!
I HATE MATHS! MATHS SUCKS!!

Careless mistakes caused me to lose 5 marks! Got 18 only so sad sia :(

If You Were Gay...

If you were gay,
It would be okay
Because hey,
I like you anyway

Because you see
If it would be me...
I would feel free to say
That i was gay
but im not gay

If you were queer,
I'll still be here
Year after year
Because you're dear to me

I may owe it to you,
If you accept me tooo
If i told you today,
hey guess what?
Im gay
But im not gay

Im happy
Just being with you
So wad better to we
then what you do in bed with guys

If you were gay,
I shout hooray
And here i stay
That i wouldn't get in ur way
You can count on me
To always be
Beside u everyday
To tell u its okay
You were just born that way
And as they say
Its in ur DNA
You're gay
If you were gay

No Comments

Today in class, waseh... damn obscene sia. Clara go slap Amira's butt and she go scream,"Ooo. Mama. Hot. Baby. Yeah." Zzz... Excuse me if u dun mind there are people who respect their dignity. People like me, Yao Kuang and more. Porn movie in the making and i guess you know who is the lead actresses? (Haha joking no offence =.=)

Seriously wow. Our Chinese teacher, Fu lao shi is actually the writer of one of the articles for Xing Qi Wu Bao (The dunno wad Friday Weekly newspapers) Seriously LOL.

Now wad did i wan to write? Erm... Oh. Answer these questions.

1. What is Golgi Apparatus?
2. What is Smooth ER?
3. What is Rough ER?


My LAME answers xD

1. It is an apparatus made by a guy named Golgi.
2. It is an ER that is not rough.
3. It is an ER that is not smooth.

Biology now. Mrs Chan wans us to go up and write answers for random questions. Here is a question.

What is an organ?

Dorothy's answer: An organ is made up of different tissues that COME together to perform a function. E.g. Stomach

Okay... Im seriously convince that Dorothy is from another planet. Obviously Dorothy's tissues grew legs and walk to their work place from their home to perform a function. Hmmm.... Wonder which planet she came from?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Happy Birthday

Here's wishing Brenda a...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

in advance xD

Praying To My Ah Ma

Today going temple pray to my dead ah ma. My bro retarded sia. My mum and I 2 big mountains walking down the stairs make alot ALOT of noise he cannot hear or see... In the end stuck upstairs 10th floor wait for us like idiot like that... DIAO!

Go by taxi... Blablabla... Chat about my O-Levels... Blablabla... Finally reach the temple. Well, not exactly la. Today got festival for Indians held once every 12 years. To commerate the last day of the temple before it undergoes extensive renovations. Expected crowd: 20,000 devotees. So to accomodate so many people, they took over one of the road. COOL! The main road... LOL. 4uck sia. Must go 1 big round around the residential estates to get to the temple... Walk... Walk... Walk...

Reach finally. Go in Tablet Hall. Proceed to 03U39 to pray to my ah ma. Brought lots of offerings like a basket of fruits, vegetarian mee fen with vegetarian tau pok and vegetables, pineapple cakes, powdery sweets, some brown colour cakes, incense, bunch of flowers, black coffee, Coke and some Mentos sweets. Next, pray to Qian Shou Guan Yin at main hall... pray for good health... and wait...

Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...
Waiting for relatives to come. They seem to be taking a long time though. Waited like ermm... 1hr 30 mins liao?

Fianlly come. Pray 1 more round... Then go makan. Go out of temple.. see see the festival. Weird... The wind blows at the temple only not the surrounding area. Its juz calm but no... not at the festive grounds... Lots of wind... Lots...

Lunch eating vegetarian food. Eating mince pork porridge. Wow! Actually quite nice sia. Then got more dishes like XO noodles, Olive handmade noodles, curry chicken noodles, fried tofu, fried sausage with mayonise sauce, BBQ sambal fish, Lotus herbal soup and much more. All vegetarian lol. Taste good la. Reasonable pricing too. Full liao... Okay go home... That' all buaiix!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Must Watch ROFL!

Guys, u really gotta watch this videos at the right hand side of my blog. They are very ROFLMFAO! Nearly died when watching these videos sia.

Suggested format: Double Click on video for better view of video.

Lyrics For Timabaland-Apologise

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around
And say..
That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But that's nothing new
Yeah yeah I loved you with a fire red,
now it's turning blue
And you say Sorry like an angel,
heaven let me think was you,
But I'm afraid
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Woahooo woah ( repeated)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, a yeah

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

Enlightening song. It just became my favourite so far. Thanks Dorothy for the song :)

Nothing To Do

SIAN! Nothing to do today. I so sian! Today break my sleeping record liaoz... 16hrs 30mins! LOL! Haiz... I no mood to blog sia... Kaes... That's all... Buaiix :)

Friday, January 25, 2008

Just Another Day In School

Reason why Singapore has so little babies.

As quoted frm sum1, "It's the men's fault. The men are infertile."

After eating the reproductive parts of the tiger (E.g. Penis and testes), you will be as strong and might as a tiger.

Inference: Your cock will be as strong and mighty like the tiger so you can....

Today was LOL. When the boys were changing in th e toilet and when there were girls outside, Jun Xing go opened the door and flashed the boys sia. LOL free show. Keith in the middle kenna flashed until very cham. Then after that in class, everyone raped Jun Xing and flashed his to the girls. Seriously LOL. Haiz... nthin to blog abt... That Dorothy so evil =.= Say for fun she dulan dowan help liao... HAIZ!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Woops, Sorry. Forgot again.

JUST JOKING LOL.

OKAES... BB :)

Last Reminder Before I Go To Sleep For Real

Woops. Me so forgetful. Paiiseh all =.=

Btw, who knows how change the new blogger type the blogskin? If you know, please tell me how bcoz i dun like my current one. It sucks, seriously.

Okaes... Buaiix all! For real now... BUAIIX!

Just A Reminder

Oh btw. Before i go, im just gonna say that im posting some videos which i think is funny on muah blog either today night or tomorrow.

Okay. Seriously got to go. Buaiix!

A Glimpse Of Hope

Hellos all... Tomorrow Maths test is a confirm sayonara and free one way ticket to eternal maths remedial. Haiz... But now got more confidence after reading up on Indices on the Ace-learning website. Hahas... Lol.

Kaekaes... gtg sleep le... That's all for now... Buaiix!

Titleless

Congratulations to Winston! You are going to flunk your Maths test tomorrow! Wooo! Eternal remedial for you for free by Ms Deepa! Woots! Yeah right... But i sure flunk de lor... SIAN! Always the same old problem... Learn 1 new chapter... forgot the previous... HAIZ... Now so familar with Quadratic Equations forget how do Indices. 4uck sia. Zzz...

Anyways, today morning, my bro and i were in the lift and my bro was the "lift master". Stopped at 6th floor. He pressed "open" and let an auntie come in (no offence psps) and then str8 away press "close". Cuz behind got another old ah ma then he nvr see and the lift door "BANG!" the old lady. OMG. She nvr kenna injured (phew) but she go scold my bro. LOL. Serve him right sia.

Next, at home. My uncle got angry and started throwing tantrums. Why? Because his slipper is stuck at the bottom of the chair. Lame and LOL.

Kaes. That's all for now. Buaiix :)

Monday, January 21, 2008

Animals Know About The Birds And The Bees

WHO SAID ANIMALS DUNNO HOW 4UCK? They know and i can prove it!

Animals Have Feelings

WHO SAID ANIMALS HAVE NO FEELINGS? They have okay... And i can prove it!


Just For Laughs

He: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHe: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!

He: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHe: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!

He: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHe: I must have been given your share!!!

He: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHe: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!

He: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHe: Okay, get out!!!

He: I think I could make you very happy.
SHe: Why? Are you leaving?

He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHe: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

He: Can I have your name?
SHe: Why? Don't you already have one?

He: Shall we go and see a film?
SHe: I've already seen it!

He: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHe: Nah, it's just bad luck!!!

He: Where have you been all my life?
SHe: Hiding from you.

He: Haven't I seen you from someplace before?
SHe: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

He: Is this seat empty?
SHe:
This one will be if you sit down!

rEtArDeD jOkE

Here's a dirty and retarded joke i made.

A little girl was walking along the beach.
She walked past a man who was sunbathing naked.
His wrinkly banana was standing up straight.
Soon, the man fainted.
When he woke up, he found that he was lying in the hospital.
He felt an excruciating pain in his groin.
He asked the nurse what happened.
The nurse said,"The little girl said that your bird spat at her.
So she burnt its nest, twisted its neck and broke its eggs."

LOL!

Who Said I Was Cheap?

WHO SAID I WAS CHEAP? Im not okay... and i can prove it!
SEE! IM NOT CHEAP! SO DUN SAY IM CHEAP, YOU BASTARD.

Britain English VS Singlish

Who says our English is CHIM? Ours is SIMPLICITY not CHIMELOGY hor!

#1. WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporeans: Bo stock.

#2. RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Singaporeans: Hello, who called?

#3. ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: Siam.

#4. WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:I pay.

#5. WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporeans: [pointing the door] can anot?

#6. WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Dun so be shy lah!

#7. WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Have meh?

#8. WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Dowan la.

#9. IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporeans: You siao ah?

#10. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Diam.


#11. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Singaporeans: Kua simi kua? Le tolo bui song?

#12. WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Mati liao.

#13. WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Eh,what happened ah?

#14. WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Singaporeans: Noob la, like that also dunno how to do.

#15. WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me.
Malaysians: Fuck off la.

#16. WHEN PUSHING BLAME
Britons: Hey. Don't accuse me like that. Its very rude to accuse someone of doing something wrong when you don't have supporting evidence or an alibi so please get things straight thank you very much.
Singaporeans: Walao eh! Everything me la!

#17. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING BUT THEY DECLINE
Britons: Have you no guts or are you just plain scared?
Singaporeans: Hum?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Sec 3 Adventure Camp at MOE Dairy Farm Road

LOL. Almost forgot. I need to blog about my camp. No wonder i felt something missing =.= Haiz. Okay, time to write compo liao. Hope Mrs Lai come mark ba =.=

Day 1

"Ring!" My clock went off. " Shut the fuck up, i wan sleep." I took my alarm clock and threw it away. Not exactly throw la, just...arh nevermind =.= I went to sleep again. What'ya expect? I slept veri late last night okay? Then i felt this magnetic... no wait. Its mum-netic force. " Ah boy ah, wake up liao la oi!" Seriously, wtf. It was merely 6.15am for god's sake. Uh... fuck... nvm. Haiz... Blablabla... same routine. Bathe ~> Brush teeth ~> Change ~> Breakfast ~> Last minute check ~> Wear socks then shoes ~> Take bag ~>Walk to bus stop ~> Take bus to school ~> Go down for assembly. Today a bit special. Mr Ling introduced us to our trainers. Oh, btw. We are Group 15: Swimming Trunks. Our trainers was a woman, Yanti. Erms... Lol? 无话可说. No further comments. Anyway, we gathered at the school basketball court where we were asked to set our group objectives and make our flag. Ah... yes the flag. Our beautiful flag. U guess what was it? Yeah la so obvious right? A swimming trunks lor. And its Patrick's and La Pi Siao Xing's underpants. The one with purple flowers in a green background and the blue underwear with an elephant. " Eh... pls contribute leh. We all so hardworking. Make flag, do objectives and you boys sit there shake leg catch flies ah?" True. But we weren't catching flies though. Aiya, just go help lor. Take a crayon and anyhow colour here and there. Zzz... Blablabla ice-breaking, team-building, problem-solving and get-to-know-each other games. Dun fucking waste my time la. After erm... 2 hrs, we finally finished. Yeah and we took our luggage and went up the bus. Fuck la no air-con. What the fuck? FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sibei sian. I sat by myself again. I put all my luggage on the next seat ma NOOB. 30 minutes later finally reach camp. Put our stuff in bunk and gather at FOP. Introduce and then carry out activities.

1st activity: Nitro crossing

This is lame. Why? First, you must hang on a rope and swing from one end to another. Second, there is practically nothing other than 1 retarded and unstable log for the "stranded guy" to stand on to swing on a worn-out rope to the other end which is 1 small concrete platform. Third, there is rocks all around. Suppose you fall how? Nvm. Dorothy veri smart, use the flag pole to get the rope. Good job :) Then we start swinging and Jun Wei, Ayu (correct?), Germaine and more peeps start catching those swingers. At 1 point, when some guy was swinging across, there was no sporters around to sport him so he solo swing and... accident happen. He kicked Fifi's TOOT, hard. Then poor Fifi, groan in pain and distress by clutching his TOOT. Lucky him. He still got father's day. He hasn't lost his balls yet. Then Yanti paused the activity and questioned us about safety. She was in a bad mood liao. Next, Joey swing over and we caught her la, but she wasn't off the rope yet, but we let go and she fell, on the rocks. Yanti bui song liao stop the activity. She "scold" us and we felt rather regretful. Still, she let us continue and everyone successfully swing across. Blame it on us ba.

Break~

Pre-2nd activity: Cheers


Yanti suggested a cheer. So Jun Xing gave a suggestion which we agreed. It goes like this.

We gotta F-F-I-I-G-H-T!
We gotta S-S-C-C-O-R-E!
We gotta FIGHT, SCORE and WIN today.
Swimming Trunks, Swimming Trunks all the way!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Speak of the devil here comes Wayne, the camp IC. Phew lucky we got cheer wor. Thank you, Yanti and Jun Xing! =.= Ya la so we cheer lor, zzz... And Wayne gave us erm... oh 100 points. Yay? The girls went mad and screamed, the boys stand there do nothing. Wayne walked away. Then, Dorothy suggested another cheer. Haiz... when will this end? It goes like this.

S-U-P-E-R, SUPER! That's what we are!
S-O-L-I-D, SOLID! That's what we are!
SUPER, SUPER! *clap* *clap*
SOLID, SOLID! *clap* *clap*
SUPER SOLID! *clap* *clap*
SOLID SUPER! *clap* *clap*
Ji-ke-la-ga-pi-ya-pi-ya!
Ji-ke-la-ga-pi-ya-pi-ya!
Ohhhhhhhh......SWIMMING TRUNKS!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yay! Another 100 points! LOL...

Piak! Somebody killed a mosquito and we got another 10 points. Diao =.=

2nd activity: Spiderweb

Seriously i dun see the point of participating because its totally lame la for god's sake. The objective of the game is to carry all ur members from one side to another without touching the ropes. LOL. Yanti said only to use 2 holes. We carried "big" peeps across the small hole and for the bigger hole, we used hair clips to make it bigger so the bigger people can cross. Yanti didn't see anything. LAME. Waste time sia.

Pre-3rd activity: Dance and cheer

Yanti ah, Yanti ah... U not sian I very sian liao. She want teach us a dance. The song sounds a bit weird though and the dance moves are very simple. We mastered the dance easily. Seriously, it's lame crap.

3rd activity: High wall

Erm... This is okay. But my hands do ache a bit though. The objective is to get everyone over the wall. The platform can hold 4 peeps max. Yanti briefed us about safety first. Ayu kept throwing stones at the wall and behind her. Nothing better to do ba. So we start lifting everyone across then soon its over. BORING.

Break~

We strolled to the FOP. Then we saw Wayne. OMFG, ENOUGH OF HIM ALREADY!Opps, we discovered Sahran was missing. Oh... who cares (No offence.) And we did the stupid dance with Wayne plus the moving one. Add a cheer and a question by Wayne. 4uck u man!

What does T-E-A-M stand for? 3 tries to guess.

Together
Everyone
Accomplish
Missions

WRONG! 2 tries left.

Everyone thinking so hard. I stand there look at the sky and watch the clouds float by.

Together
Everyone
Achieve
Many, Much, More?


Heck la just put More ba. Congratulations, you got 200 points! Wooooooo! I stand there still watching clouds.

Break~

4th activity: Random Games

Next, we were left alone. Dorothy, Sahran, Jun Xing and Joey played a game called 'Concentration' and 'Heart Attack' too. LOL. The rest all back out from the games because some dowan play, some dunno how play. Then Yanti came and asked for volunteers to get 2 benches. I guessed it just as much. We were playing that stupid 'stand-on-the-bench-thingy' game. SIAN. Dowan talk about it. Along with another crappy game of (I dunno the real name for it.) 'Count-numbers-and-slap-your-thigh' game. BORING. Supposed to have competition one (which i hope dun have) but in the end, dun have... YAY! WOOTS!

After everyone assembled at the FOP and prepared for the next activity, 'Outdoor Cooking' The trainers briefed us on what to do and some tips to start us off. We weren't very organised actually. Instead, we were just staring at two people who were leading the team. Yes! They were Dorothy and Jun Xing, AGAIN! Goody-two-pants sia they two =.=


I usual self. Sit on the log and start tearing up packets of noodles, peeling cabbages and staring at the clouds floating by. Its called EMO. Diao. Then Yanti came and started scolding us like we were lil' kids and she got rather pissed. Ya lor and we woke up frm our Lalaland and we start working as a team lor. And wala! Noodles on cabbages with baked beans, sardine and fried fish fillet. The fillet wasnt fried actually. Just oiled and half cooked... WHY? Because the oil wont 4ucking boil and the water in the rice pot wont boil too. So... no rice at all.

Okay la the food. It was edible and surprisingly tasty. Especially the noodles. Only ate a few mouths though. That Sahran sia... Never help at all. Sit there blabber at Dorothy over what to do and when food comes... First person to eat... Somemore take 1 whole plate somemore... Ppl wan take a bit complain say why take from my plate when the plate not even his... And in the end he kenna scolded by Ayu call his mother say want go home... LOL. But really la. He a bit pitiful lor and from far away feel soory for him. Awww... poor Sahran... :(

Break~

5th activity: Night confidence Walk

Next was the erm... Wait lemme check someone's blog first... Oh... Err... The night confidence walk yeah. I expected it to be a hard and tough trail when they said to go in groups of 5. What was it in the end? Some ulu pathway that cuts in the forest. 4uck sia... Waste my brainpower thinking. Okay... so the road was rocky and sandy but it was low kick. Just that the road very hard see nia. I kept chattering like some arsehole and Keith asked me to shut up. Okay fine! Shut up lor! 5 minutes later talking again. Diao. When we reached the end of the trail, we assembled and sat down on the dew-covered grass. OMFG. LOOK AT THE SKY! Lots of stars WOW. Not as good as the one in Bintan though. Binatan one kicks ass sia xD Here not bad la... Can see alot of stars and even a constellation too. And the scenery is fuck-cellent (learned it from someone xD)


Day 2

1st Activity: Trapeze

First thing in the morning we had breakfast and morning exercise. Blablabla... And here comes High Elements! Booo! Suck it man! Especially when i was chosen by the trainer to go 1st. 4uck sia... he strap the safety harnest damn hard. My balls nearly burst dude. 4uck 4uck 4uck! My legs turned jelly when i was climbing the goddamn log. Wonder whether it will hold or not. I reached the top... Erm... Now very scary. My legs shiver like mad. SERIOUS! Shake like mad. The whole log shaking like mad sia. 4uck sia. I dun dare jump. But with cheering from Swiiming Trunks, the instructor and Mr Ling and Mr Lai, i finally jumped. Slow-mo...... YES! I caught the bar and hung on. Right hand only. Left hand touch the pole and slipped.You cant defy gravity so i fell. 4UCK!!! 4UCKING PAIN! I thought my balls burst. Yeah... I felt a sharp pain man. I was lowered down. My hands totally sweating and my lips looked pale. I thought i lost my manhood. Lucky still there. Wa heng sia! Ouch... So one by one, we tried. Some of us succeeded, some of us... well... didnt make it. Oh well...

2nd Activity: CRC

Next we proceeded to the CRC [Challenge Rope Course]. There again... we were briefevd about safety blablabla... same crap... And so we moved on to the course. There were 5 challenges: Tight Rope With Support, Cargo Net, Chopsticks Walk-across, Tight Rope With No Support and High Tight Rope With Crap Support. I was in Group 2 so i did the 2nd challenge 1st.

2nd Challenge: Cargo Net

Hmmm... It didnt looked hard from down there. The trainer gave us a few tips. After job switching from ankleman, rope manager, backup belayer and sporter plus LOTS of waiting, finally my turn. Dowan go up sia. Im a 4ucking chicken and i have no balls. Uh... Nvm. Just go. Climb the stairs slowly. Waseh, if i fall and hit the staplers, my eggs would break and chicks would grow up and fly away. Oh man... the horror... NO! IT WONT HAPPEN! Shhh... Climbing, climbing, climbing... Reach the top! Yay! Hands shaking liao. Veri nervous... Started moving across the net... Super shaky and it sway with the wind... OMFG. IM SCARED. ARGHH!!! Calm down... Okay... Slowly... 1 huge step at a time... Okay good. 4uck la Winston! So tall for wad? See la now cannot balance properly liao la. Wa... Hand pain le... 4uck... Few more steps... YES! MADE IT! WOOTS! Slowly climb down. Breathing heavily. Omfg, made it. I cheated death... Haiz... Too chicken dowan do the rest xD

Okay. Time's up! Yay! So happy sia. Regrouped and proceeded back to FOP. Had lunch. Hmmm... Not bad wor~ Next depart for Sarimbum for water elements. BORING. Dowan go but still must go... Haiz... WHY IS THE CAMP COMPULSORY ANYWAY? Bus ride boring. I slept. Zzz... Zzz.. 1 minute later wake up. See many graves. Waseh... Start chanting prayers... Okay... Over... Sleep again... Zzz... Zzz... 30 secs later... Wake up. Reach liao. Dots. Haiz... Walk to some building... throw bag there... Go to the coast. Briefed about safety again... Sian... Blablabla... Proceed to 1st activity at Sarimbun.

3rd activity: Rafting

Time for raft building. Ah yes. 6 poles and 4 tyres for us to make a raft. Asked for suggestion but all kept quiet until (guess?)... Yeah, Jun Xing finally blurted out. So we built it lor and launched it and it floated. WOW. Lol. Everyone had a go at rafting. Hmmm... Surprisingly though... I did not. Another sign of EMO! Lol. Okay... so it wasn't a success because we took 20 minutes instead of 10 and we got lots of scolding from Yanti. Haiz... Dismantle again... Then toilet break... Walk so long sian...

4th activity: Kayaking

I did not like it much. Although i enjoyed the last part of it. 1st... Safety briefing... 2nd... Introduction of kayak... 3rd... Water confidence test. Done... now for the real deal. I partnered with Gabriel btw. So we started off. Like bullshit. The kayak very shaky because we never put our legs in then we had no coordination when paddling. So the kayak anyhow move... Needed the trainer's guidance... Haiz... Finally reached the Meeting Point. There we stand up and start singing songs and cheering. Btw, i got a little stuck diao. Blablabla... Challenge over... En route back to shore. Reach damn fast sia. Paddle like mad monkey like that. Wooo! I loved this part. Lols. Heard that Keith and Jun Cheng capsized. Lol. Said that Rui Ling and Yao Kuang banged Chong Hui who banged Keith and Jun Cheng but they no space to get banged so they capsize. Funny sight they said. Managed to climb back up. Trainer scooped up a jellyfish with his paddle and showed Keith and Jun Cheng. Lucky them sia... Came back to shore drenched. Everyone congratulating them. Regroup and proceed.

Break~

5th activity: Amazing Hunt

Nothing to comment about this. We only completed half of it. Lol. So this is actually about teamwork and a bit of IQ. We forfeited this event to prepare for campfire performance. Okay... Ideas? Same people again. This time including Dorothy and a new member, Karen. Karen wanted a cheer while Jun Xing and Dorothy wanted a musical performance. We ditched both of them and just went home lol. Wasted time there. Went home on bus. I slept.

We had dinner and we changed into campfire clothes. Haiz... We werent prepared. Gathered at canteen for dismissal to campfire site. Suddenly rained. WOOOO! Rain at the right time sia. So happy leh me.

6th Activity: Campfire

Official start. Our campfire was pathetic. It was just glow sticks placed all over a wooden pile which burned for a while. Normal stuff lor. Sang songs, performed. Did a few cheers and the dance. LOL. Haiz... no comments here. Very boring. Nearly slept during campfire. After campfire was supper and debrief. Gave us reflection to do. I found out I lost my stuff. 4uck sia. Went around the place looking for it. Where did I find it? In the middle of the road. Dunno which joker. Bastard that guy. Hand in reflection... ate a few more curry puffs... Ice-cream... Milo... Sleep.

Day 3

Hooray! Last day liao. So happy until cannot happy anymore. Woots. Haiz. Breakfast... changed... blablabla... Go to High Elements. Yesterday no time to do so now do. Did 1 thing only (applies to boys, girls 2 things. Unfair la. I never do a shit xD).

1st Activity: Absailing

Good thing i never wear track pants. I no need do. Haha so happy :) Anyway, we wanted to do Flying Fox first but Yanti and Jason asked us boys to do absailing first. We reluctantly agreed. Sian boz... Not for me. I spent time throwing stones down the slope and at trees. So fun sia xD Okay... I know its lame... but i nothing better to do... Next best thing is watch clouds and EMO! Zzz... Many boys did. A few didnt want to do. Wish granted. Out of time already. Complaining why cant do Flying Fox.

Went to Meeting Point. Watched girls do Flying Fox. Sian sia. "I lurvveee Waaaayyynnneeeeee!" Some voice flew by. It was Dorothy's. Diao. Finished absailing and Flying Fox. Wa they good. All boys EMO... Play with stones... Throw at each other... Kenna scolded... Sulking... Hmph! I made a hole with a rock wall. LOL. Regrouped again. Zzz...

2nd Activity: Cleaning

Made to do reflections. Bored... Played a game with Gabriel. For every alphabet must find at least 100 words. Yeah... its lame... We nothing to do ma. Dots. Group 16 asked to do bunk cleaning. We didnt. We were writing reflections. Phew. Peeps from Group 15 asked to help. Those who finished must help. Phew. I still writing. Write finish continue game with Gabriel. WE ARE LAMERZ! HAHAHAHAHA! LOL! Left 3 of us around. Waited for rest to come back. Come back liao assemble.

3rd Activity: Farewell

Made to sit in hot sun. Woooo! Its hot. 4uck them sia made us sit there. Hot until can fry egg liaoz. Wtf. Take plate and fan myself. Ahhhh... momentary cooling sensation. Prize presentation, we were one of the winners and we were rather excited about the prize. What was it? An InnoTREK container with a strap. WOW! Not... Go back to seat. Wa so hot liao. Say last goodbye to trainers... Exchanged hugs... Say Goodbye and good to have you here. You are the best wave... YES! Finally can move out. Go on bus and i slept... Zzz... Zzz... Zzz...

Reach school after 1/2 hour. Dismissed from there. Met Daryl and Henry who looked rather happy. Waited for them to dismiss. Helped Daryl carry bench... Henry and Daryl dismissed... Took Daryl's car to my house... Carried my luggage to my ah ma house (4uck sia. Must walk so far =.=)... Slumped onto sofa and slept... Zzz... Zzz...

Kaes. End of story. Buaiix, i oso gtg liaoz... Haiz...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Paiseh All :[

Heh. Long time no blog liao. 3 days ago got camp then the rest of the days got no mood. Haiz nothing to blog about. Post 爽 nia, LOL. Okay all. Got to go le. Buaii :)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Why Students Fail Their Exams

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365 days. Typical academic year for a student:


1.) Sundays» 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
DAYS LEFT: 313

2.) Summer holidays » 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
DAYS LEFT: 263

3.) 8 hours of sleep usually» 130 days GONE.
DAYS LEFT: 141

4.) 1 hour for playing daily» [good for health] means 15 days.
DAYS LEFT: 126

5.) 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies » [chewing properly & swallowing] means 30 days.
DAYS LEFT: 96

6.) 1 hour per day for talking» [man is a social animal] means 15 days.
DAYS LEFT: 81

7.) Exam days » per year at least 35 days.
DAYS LEFT: 46

8.) Quarterly, half yearly and festival » [holidays] 40 days.
DAYS LEFT: 6

9.) For sickness » at least 3 days.
DAYS LEFT: 3

10.) Movies, functions and events» at least 2 days.
DAYS LEFT: 1

11.) That one day is your birthday. » How can you study on that day??
BALANCE: 0


S0 how can we pass our exams then? XD

ReTaRd

RETARD

-Arabic : يُعيق، يُعَرْقِ
-Chinese (Simplified) : 延迟,放慢
-Chinese (Traditional) : 延遲,放慢
-Czech : zpomalit
-Danish : sinke
-Dutch : vertragen
-Estonian : pidurdama
-Finnish : hidastuttaa, hidastua
-French : retarder
-German : verzögern
-Greek : καθυστερώ
-Hungarian : késleltet
-Icelandic : seinka, tefja
-Indonesian : terlambat, terbelakang
-Italian : ritardare
-Japanese : 遅らせる
-Korean : …을 더디게 하다, …을 늦추다; 늦어지다
-Latvian : kavēt; palēnināt; kavēties; palēnināties
-Lithuanian : sulėtinti, sulaikyti
-Norwegian : forsinke; hefte; hemme
-Polish : zahamować, opóźniać
-Portuguese [Brazil] : retardar
-Portuguese [Portugal] : retardar
-Romanian : a în­târzia
-Russian : замедлять, задерживат
-Slovak : spomaliť» Slovenian : zavirati
-Spanish : retrasar» Swedish : försena, bromsa, hämma
-Turkish : geciktirmek

This poor guy

Today, we were having Chemistry lessons. We were doing an overall review on the chapter. Then we started talking about pippettes. Then she remembered something, an incident which happened. Here's an extract.

Ms Lau: Do you all know that pippette is very expensive?
Class: No......
Ms Lau: Do you know where the pippette can be found?
Class: No......
Ms Lau: It can be found under the safety goggles rack there. Underneath the rack got one table.
Class: Oh.
Ms Lau: I remember last time got one boy he wanted to put back his safety goggles that time he go kick the rack and broke 13 pippettes.
Class: Did he pay?
Ms Lau: He paid by doing school service.
Class: Oh lol.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mini English lesson

Im starting to feel that my blog is really becoming a blog that teaches English. Ah well... who cares? Nobody does.

A CONCIERGE is someone in a hotel who helps guests with restaurant reservations or concert tickets. The word comes from a French term, "comte des cierges," which means "keeper of the candles."

A MAESTRO is someone who composes or conducts classical music. It means "master" in Spanish, Italian and Portuguese.

A DIVA is (traditionally) a great female opera singer, usually sopranos. More recently, it has been used to describe such modern female superstar performers. The word is deorived from the Latin "divina", meaning "divine one."

A MAITRE D' often works as a restaurant or catering hall and is responsible for assigning seating and sloving customer complains.

In a restaurant, if you order ALA CARTE, it means you order the dishes in your meal seperately, rather than from a fixed menu. And if you dine ALFRESCO, it means you are eating outdoors.


Erm... LOL?

Do you know something?

RACECAR ~~~~~> RACECAR ~~~~~> RACECAR ~~~~~> RACECAR .........

Interesting...

I notice more interesting stuff in the newspapers. "Flip-words" LOL!

DIVA ~> AVID
STOP ~> POTS
GRAB ~> BRAG
PINS ~> SNIP
STAB ~> BATS
DRAW ~> WARD
TRAP ~> PART

LOL! Must read!

Pls note that this post is not ripped form anyone but sent to me via email so dun come accusing me hor! This is really creative and this guy who made this must be a pro at Scrabble or he just has nothing better to do.

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Note

Hiies all! Opps. Its arlos all! Before i go tuition i wanna say something first. Yea. Im doing some ripping in the night so pls beware pl0x. Kaekaes. I gtg liaoz buaiix all!^^

Racist Principal

Today, i had assembly. Our beloved principal, Mr Tan Chee Siong was talking about the start if school message. After the long 1 hour talk, it was quiz time (d0ts). And the he ask for people to answer questions. One Indian boy volunteered and walked out. The hall was very dark too. His name was Ashwin. But... what did our beloved principal say?

"I cant see you in the dark but from there i can tell you are Ashwin."

Erm... Like wow? Now how you expect us to be good AMKsians when....

Typical Conversation

Yesterday, during the pupil profiling thinggie, Mrs Jessica Kok looked at my paper and then started a conversation with me after she saw some ominous-looking thinggie there.

Mrs Kok: Eh, what is this?
(points to a sweet wrapper)
Me: A sweet wrapper.
Mrs Kok: I know it is a sweet wrapper but wad is it doing there?
Me: I left it there.
Mrs Kok: No. What i mean is... do you know what this means?
Me: Hmmm... Nope.
Mrs Kok: It means that there is evidence that you were eating sweet in class. How could you?
Me: Not mine.
Mrs Kok: What you mean not yours? Its on your table.
Me: But still not mine.
Mrs Kok: Then where it came from?
Me: I took it out from my pencil box and put it there.
Mrs Kok: All the more it's yours then.
Me: I dunno who put it in my pencil box.
Mrs Kok: Then how it get there?
Me: Dunno. Maybe i kenna sabo ba.
Mrs Kok: That's not the point.
Me: So what you mean is that if i take this and put in on someone's else table then it's not mine?
Mrs Kok: Yes.
Me: -
(puts sweet wrapper on buddy's table.)
Mrs Kok: All the more she should dispose of it then.
(short moment later...)
Mrs Kok: Eh, how could you do this? Its yours. Take it back.
Me: Its not mine. Its hers.
Mrs Kok: -
(takes and put sweet wrapper back on my table)
Mrs Kok: Right now, you should do the right thing.
Me: What?
Mrs Kok: You should dispose of the evidence so noone knows.
Me: Not possible. You seen it liao. Destroy it oso no use so what is the point?
[Surrounding people giggles]
Mrs Kok: Nevermind. Just throw it away.
Me: -
(takes sweet wrapper and stuff it into back pocket)
Mrs Kok: Eh. Why you throw it in your back pocket?
Me: You didnt specifically say must throw where.
Mrs Kok: You think your pants rubbish bin ah?
Me: No. It do it out of convenience. Its what is usually do too.
Mrs Kok: Pls throw it away in a proper dustbin.
Me: Nothing happened just now. You didn't see anything.
Mrs Kok: I did.
Me: You didn't.
Mrs Kok: Eeyer. Then no one want to wash your pants for you liao.
Me: I wash my own pants.
Mrs Kok: Really ah?
Me: Huh? Orh... Nonononono. Fake one, fake one.
Mrs Kok: Wa! First time see so independent person. I saw a Secondary 4 pupil his nails very long must ask him mother help him cut.
Me: Oh. Really?
Mrs Kok: Yeah.
[Suddenly, Yao Kuang said something.]
Yao Kuang: I thought the washing machine help you wash your clothes de?
Mrs Kok: Oh ya hor. Not you wash de leh.
Me: Precisely i said fake de. I just throw my dirty laundry in the washing machine and it will do the rest.
[Everyone started laughing. Mrs Kok was like... What the hell? This guy is lame.]

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Artistic Toilets

Yes i am. Here are some designs of toilets that are designed by people who are obviously mentally-ill or just some plain old artists.













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